Ella 7: bright yellow capri's

"People kill themselves all the time," she thought, "So why should I be any different."

Life is hard. And while women don't belong in puddles in the middle of the street, not even quiet ones, Ella's street was far too calm for a half-hearted suicide attempt. But she waited for a car to come by and hit her anyway. What Ella failed to realize is that more people survive each day than die, but she was having a moment that could be fatal. After 3 minutes, however, no body came.

Even if they had, she would have been spotted in her bright yellow summer carpi's early enough to spare her life. So she hoped, she hoped that the broken bone had punctured an important blood vessel and then she could be dying right now and nobody would care, and she wouldn't have to try anymore. Well, another 3 minutes passed and she was still breathing; breathing as normal as could be expected with a broken ankle.

If only Ella had known her strength. She has a remarkable threshold for physical pain and little tolerance for emotional hurts, they often cut her way too deep, but most humans bleed by what's said and done to the heart and often overcome what's done to the body. But those thoughts, they still lingered; Suicide is unnatural, but it has a way of sticking around. And for Ella on that day it was just what she thought she needed. So she figured it out, she finally found a way to kill herself in increments. Only Ella knew what to do to make things right...

(c) Jamillah Warner, www.gospelnerve.com, I got the nerve to say . . .